I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
