we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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