Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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