I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
You don't make any sense
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