So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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