Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize