after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
