Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
she peed on how many people?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
