I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
porn star boner night. come get it.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
It's official drugs can't kill me
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
