its not stalking. its research.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Randomize
