I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Randomize
