My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
pray to the hookup gods
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
