well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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