I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Randomize
