I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
