Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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