nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
