Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
