Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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