dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
