He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I need to calm my uterus...
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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