I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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