hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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