marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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