a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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