i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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