looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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