I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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