My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
