he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
