Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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