We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Randomize
