my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
