apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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