I bet he comes in French.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
