My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Randomize
