dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
