But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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