We won't sleep together?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize