East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
