Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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