marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
