I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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