I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
