No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
