when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I could make wine with my vomit
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
