4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
