Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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