Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I smell stomach acid.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
