You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
