it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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